SHANIE RYAN
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Shanie Ryan October 4, 2020

My Birth Story

My Birth Story

If you follow me on Instagram (@Shanie_Ryan) you will know I have just uploaded some of the  realist, raw and personal images that I will ever post… They are the images of my birth story.

I decided that I couldn’t share so much of my pregnancy with you all via my social media and blog to then just ignore birth, and not talk about the labour especially when so many of you have reached out to me asking about my birth story…

I also thought it was important to reassure all of the pregnant ‘mummy’s to be’ out there that despite Covid 19 and all of the restrictions that remain in place around birth partners, that the midwives are going above & beyond to ensure your birth experience is not far from the normal experience. I can tell you that my midwives were amazing from start to finish and seemed to think the restrictions still being in place were ridiculous. They we’re very flexible with the “rules” so do try not to worry.

My little boy River was 4 weeks old yesterday, so I decided it was time to watch back my birth video. What an amazing experience to be able to re-live it, to watch it back, and to recall what happened, it really helped me to process my birth story. It helped me to feel proud of myself for getting through it without screaming the entire place down and to enjoy the moment he was born again only this time without the discomfort Lol.

Rivers Birth Story;
Location: East Surrey Hospital Birthing Centre.

Pain Relief: Gas & Air 

Birth: Instrumental Ventouse Delivery 

Labour Time: 12 Hours.

So firstly, let me just say that I look back on my labour and birth as a positive experience, but that is not to say it wasn’t hard nor did it all go to plan!
Overall I had 80% of the experience I had wished for and included in my birth plan. The reason I feel that despite needing intervention during my birth, I still had a positive birth experience was because I took the time to create a detailed seven page birth preferences document that covered every scenario. I insisted that my care providers had read and understood what I needed to feel safe and supported during my labour. My fiance Tony had also studied the document and knew exactly what I was hoping for and therefore he was very vocal and controlled the room on my behalf.

I went into labour at 5am. It started when I woke up to a bad tummy ache, (I had a spicy Indian the night before, so my first thought it was just the food) so I emptied my bowels completely. 15 minutes later I needed the bathroom again and noticed that my mucus plug had come out (also known as your bloody show).  At that point I then realised my tummy ache was in fact the start of my labour. I started timing my contractions on the Freya App and after an hour bouncing on my birthing ball in the kitchen I woke Tony up to let him know that I was in labour. Within 2 hours of me waking up the app told me it was time to go to the hospital. My contractions definitely became more frequent and much stronger quite quickly and I had started being very sick (which was unexpected and weirdly like a form of pain relief). Once we got to hospital my waters started to trickle as I was walking up the stairs to the birthing suite. As soon as I arrived I was taken straight into the birthing pool and was given gas and air to help with the surges. On arrival at the hospital I was told I was already 5 cm dilated, I couldn’t believe I was in established labour after only 3 hours! A quick 6 hours total labouring and I had gone from 0-10cm. This entire experience was calm, focused, intense and intimate; with my midwife being present but not intrusive. Tony was a constant voice of encouragement, reminding me of my positive affirmations, massaging my back, and keeping me hydrated.

Labouring is intense and you’ve got to dig deep, its important to remain positive and to keep focused on the fact that every surge brings you closer to meeting your baby. If you can do that you get through it positively, it’s mother nature and time evaporates when you are in labour so when people talk about how long there labour was it never actually feels that long when you are living it. Looking back I enjoyed the labour experience it was almost out of body and quite a spiritual experience, the gas and air was so helpful as was the hot water of the birthing pool. Tony put some of my yoga music on in the background and laid out some battery operated candles to create an environment that I would find relaxing.

Once I got to 10cm dilated I felt ready to push, its like a feeling of baring down that can’t be ignored so my midwife told me to go with it. After such a rapid labour, I genuinely thought that I would have delivered him within an hour of pushing maximum (so did my midwife for that matter). However, after 2 hours of pushing he was still not with us which I was beginning to worry about and also to get frustrated with. For a moment I began to doubt myself, maybe I wasn’t pushing correctly? Maybe I wasn’t pushing hard enough? But Tony & my midwife continued to reassure me that I was doing a great job. It turned out that his head was stuck just a couple of cm from the exit. The midwives were concerned that I had been pushing for quite some time and were worried that I was getting exhausted and advised I should accept help getting him out. But as he was absolutely fine in terms of his heart rate and wasn’t in distress I decided to keep going and to try to deliver him naturally! This is where it was good to remind myself and to feel that I was in control of both my body and my baby and no one could force me to accept help if I didn’t want it, it was ultimately my choice. I am a pretty  determined person, so my determination to push ended up at a very long 4 hours 40 minutes of pushing (which tells you if you put your mind to it you can literally push your body to its limits). But, after that amount of time I had to admit that I had absolutely had enough, especially after the empty bowls and vomiting situation, I literally had no fuel left in the tank to give me energy to keep going. After four hours of pushing they realised that his head being stuck was now a real problem and was preventing him from being born so the doctor came and  tried to manually turn his head straight as I pushed so he could make it past my pelvis. However, his head kept going back (he actually sleeps with his head turned to the right like this so we get it now 🤷🏽‍♀️) .

In the end, Tony and I agreed that it simply wasn’t fair on me to keep trying. I was utterly spent, I was actually starting to go a little loopy and I was now causing damage to my pelvic floor and bladder from pushing for so long. We eventually agreed to put my wellbeing and physical health first, so we agreed to go ahead with the episiotomy and ventouse suction cup delivery.

Now, I won’t lie this wasn’t pleasant, I cant describe the feeling so I wont try but it was the only time I really let out a scream but, it was in fact over in less than 15 minutes and once they placed him on my chest I didn’t care about anything else but meeting my baby and all was forgotten.
My doctor & my midwives told us that they had never ever carried out an instrumental delivery in the birthing centre before. However, when they asked me to move to the labour ward I got so upset about having to move to a different, brightly lit, sterile environment that they decided to put my wellbeing first and made the call to move the equipment needed to me instead.
This flexibility meant that despite my birth not going entirely to plan and ending up with instrumental intervention, they allowed me to keep my calm environment consistent helping me to feel safe even when things got difficult.

Despite needing stitches once River arrived my care providers quietly slipped away and allowed me my “golden hour” of skin to to skin to bond with my baby. He latched onto my breast within 20 minutes of being born, before having one hour of skin to skin with Tony whilst I had stitches ect.

My labour & birth was a grand total of 12 hours from start to finish, it was a long one but my beautiful boy is here safely so it was totally worth it and we have already decided we will do it again so it couldn’t of been too bad Lol.

 
 
 
 
 
 

ADVICE…

  • Rest in between surges ie; close your eyes, be quiet almost take mini naps.
  • Drink LOADS of water even if you don’t feel like it, I couldn’t eat at all during labour, I vomited 20-30 times but Tony made me drink 4 litres of water in total and a bottle of iced tea for sugar and the midwives were very happy I managed to stay so hydrated despite the sickness.

 

  • Take a handheld electric fan with you, after two hours of pushing I got quite hot and bothered. Tony holding the fan on me was a godsend.
  • Say yes to the catheter to drain your bladder during labour if you can’t pee, it doesn’t hurt and it helps create space for baby to move down the birth canal.
  • Dextrose tablets helped with energy when I couldn’t eat . During labour move around lots. I got out the pool, I sat on the toilet, I was on all fours, slow dancing with Tony felt good and then being on my back propped up. Just keep changing it up when ever the midwife suggests it.
  • Put music on that you like or helps you remain calm. You won’t hear it, but weirdly the background noise helps you zone out. Get yourself a tens machine for early labour!
  • Take a pillow from home, hospital pillows suck and when you get into bed following delivery you will want to be comfortable for cuddles.

To put your mind at rest, despite covid I had an incredible team of care providers. They did everything normally with a mask added in. They didn’t make my partner wear a mask in the room and they let him bond with us for 8 hours after delivery. River and I were kept in over night and discharged 10pm the following day but I felt safe and cared for even when my partner left. On that note, I want to say a huge thank you to Jo & Cristy my amazing midwives from East Surrey Hospital for taking incredible care of me and baby River, also to Dr Radwah who delivered him safely and moved the theatre to the birthing suite for the first time in her career for me. 

The fourth trimester is feeling a little harder than the birth tbh, mostly as my body is so tired from over 4 hours pushing and the episiotomy and rectal healing from pushing. Recovery has been hard, slow and undignified. But being a new mummy is rewarding and he is breast feeding amazingly despite his little tongue tie which keeps my spirits up. Make sure you check back for my fourth trimester blog post in the near future where I will get into all the ‘post birth stuff’ in more detail.

Mama’s to be… You’ve got this, I promise! My best advice is be prepared, do your pelvic floor exercises and write a detailed birth preferences document for your partner and your midwives and please don’t worry, your going to meet your baby and that is all that matters in the end.

Love Shanie & Baby River xXx

RIVER james ryan SINCLAIR
16/08/2020
7lbs 3

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Shanie Ryan August 16, 2020

Hospital Bag Check List

Hospital Bag Check List

I wasn’t actually planning on writing another blog post until after my little boys arrival but today is his due date and several of you have reached out via Instagram asking for this post so I figured no harm in keeping myself busy seeing as he clearly doesn’t feel like showing up on time Lol!

Let’s talk packing the old hospital bag….

Regardless of whether you are planning to give birth at home or at the hospital I would recommend that you have your hospital bag packed and ready to go from 34 weeks ( I say this as I know two ladies who recently gave birth this early!) If you plan on having a home birth you still may end up changing your mind and going into hospital or needing to go last minute at the advice of your midwife so either way its better to be organised. 

In terms of things like maternity PJ’s and nighties I found brands like H&M, Next and Missguided had some good options. In terms of comfy cotton post birth pants I went to Next, but also brought some disposable ones from Amazon for those first few days. When it comes to maternity pads bigger is better according to my friends who have recently had babies. Some even recommended you just go for Tena lady adult nappies and be done with it… I guess there is no point in trying to be dignified at this point. Basically both you and baby are going to be leaving hospital in a nappy! Lol


Mum’s Hospital Bag…

 ESSENTIALS:

  • Birth plan – 2 x Copies in case of a shift change.
  • Maternity notes
  • Something to read / watch (if being induced as it can take many hours)
  • Antibacterial wipes (To wipe down room)
  • Flip flops for shower or walking around the room.
  • Hairbands / Hair clip
  • Swimwear (for birthing pool if needed)
  • Nightdress / Oversized T shirt for labour
  • Lip Balm
  • Snacks & drinks
  • Glucose tablets for energy

TO SET THE ATMOSPHERE:

  • Massage oils / Essential oils.
  • Birthing ball
  • Small portable diffuser
  • Battery operated tea lights or fairy lights.
  • Noise Cancelling headphones
  • Music
  • Printed Positive Affirmations

TO HELP WITH LABOUR PAIN:

  • Flannel – Cold compress
  • Hot water bottle – (for back pain)
  • TENS pain relief machine – Take extra batteries and electrode pads.
  • Handheld fan 

POST BIRTH ESSENTIALS:

  • Your favourite pillow (Soooo Important hospital pillows are crap!)
  • Neck / Travel pillow (To sit on in the car on the way home.)
  • Empty Sports / refillable bottle to rinse your vagina when peeing post birth.
  • Toiletries
  • Nursing bras x 2
  • Breast pads
  • Nipple cream
  • Arnica tablets
  • Maternity pads
  • Nightdress / PJs (open front for Breast feeding) x 2
  • Dressing gown
  • Slippers / Fluffy Socks
  • Dirty clothes bag
  • Hairbrush
  • Disposable pants / big pants
  • Ear plugs & eye mask
  • Dark coloured old towel
  • Fresh towel for shower
  • Going home outfit (Something loose)
  • Phone Charger

Baby’s Hospital Bag…

  • Car seat
  • Socks / Booties x1

  • Hat x1

  • Muslins x3

  • Sleep suits x 5
  • Vests x5
  • Going home outfit 
  • Baby blanket x1
  • Scratch mitts x2
  • Nappies x 1 pack (They use 10 nappies per day)
  • Nappy sacks
  • Nappy cream / balm
  • Water wipes
  • Cotton wool balls
  • Small tub of pure olive oil.
  • Formula (if not breastfeeding)
  • Bottles x 2 (if not breast feeding)

 

Birth Partners Bag…

  • Water spray to cool down / refresh
  • Change of clothes
  • Deodorant / Toothbrush
  • Contraction timer / app
  • Phone & Charger
  • Camera
  • Snacks / drinks
  • PJs (in case end up staying) – ( Sadly not relevant during in Covid 19)
  • Change for parking / vending machines

There you have it, a simple easy to follow guide as to what I would recommend you put into your hospital bag. However, there is bound to be a few things that need to be added to the bag last minute. So what I decided was to do a “Things to be added” list which I printed off and stuck to the fridge so that Tony can literally follow the list and throw it all in when the time comes without asking me what I need mid labour and getting yelled at!

As always do let me know if this post has been helpful, and let me know what other posts you would like to see. Just drop me a DM on Instagram @Shanie_Ryan as I would love to hear from you! 

 

Love from 

Shanie & Bump 

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Shanie Ryan June 21, 2020

“Yay I’m Pregnant” (& loving it), This is a positive vibes only zone!

“Yay I’m Pregnant” (& loving it), This is a positive vibes only zone!

It’s been a hot minute since i’ve posted on my blog, so welcome back! 

If you follow me on Instagram you will know that my  incredible partner Tony and I not only got engaged this year but we are also expecting our first child together in August. We were blessed enough to fall pregnant super quickly, and despite experiencing my first pregnancy during a world wide pandemic and as a result of that, then spending most of my pregnancy in quarantine…. so far I have had a very positive experience with only a few shitty moments along the way. But mostly its been great and rather than shy away from that fact, or keep quiet about it, I wanted to share it with you and speak openly about my positive pregnancy for the following reason…

Its funny, as soon as you tell people that you are pregnant, their first reaction is always surprise and excitement, however  what I wasn’t prepared for was that within 5 minutes of the  buzz and excitement dying down, “it” begins!

What is the “it” I hear you ask?

Well here “it” is…. I noticed quite quickly that despite their good intentions, people have a strange habit of projecting their own experiences of pregnancy and birth onto you and your partner even if its super negative! It is often unsolicited advice, inappropriate comments or detailed story telling, and i’ve got to be honest, in my experience so far, more often than not, it isn’t the positive kind of story telling, comments or advice that you would hope for from people who are supposed to be happy for you. Where is the positive energy guys???

Tony and I heard everything from… Tony should “Move out for the next 9 months, as with all the hormones I would be a nightmare to live with”, to people describing how “awful” their birth stories were; sharing gory details and displaying their trauma for us to see in plain sight. People were even telling me that my pregnancy was going to be this miserable experience that I needed to strap myself in for, oh and then there is the insensitive “your gonna get fat” jokes! I mean really guys? How is this helpful?

Overall people tend to be pretty negative, however, they don’t actually realise they are doing it because everything is said as some sort of joke or in jest which is the worst part about it I think. They don’t even realise how insensitive they are being, or that what they are saying could negatively impact our experience and conjure up anxiety and fear at a time where it is vital to be calm and relaxed!

So with that said, VERY quickly Tony and I decided, that we needed a plan to protect ourselves from anything that might cast fear or uncertainty over our journey to becoming parents.

 

Step number one in our quest to have a positive experience was, we were going to have to get comfortable with being blunt and perhaps at times even quite rude to people who try to protect their negative experiences onto us!  We made a pact that from now on neither he nor I would not be allowing anyone to get past the first sentence of any story or comments that might make us feel worried or fearful of the journey ahead. We would literally shut down the conversation with “i’m sorry, but we aren’t open to hearing anything that isn’t 100% positive at this time, so we are going to have to stop you there”.

Next we booked a consultation with a holistic pregnancy coach (@Lacinne & @CoupeDC). I got to know them when they featured on episode 12 of my podcast ‘Influence Me’ CLICK HERE TO LISTEN. They themselves had a holistic pregnancy, followed by a free birth (aka unassisted birth) and they have raised their daughter exclusively on breast milk and a plant based diet. They seemed like our sort of people, and “parent goals” so we decided to book an appointment and they didn’t disappoint. They were super positive yet honest about their pregnancy, birth and parenting experience and gave us lots of confidence that we too could have an enjoyable journey and birth. This was the kind of people and energy we wanted to be influenced by, so we sat down with them before we even saw a midwife to establish the balance between the holistic approach and the medical led approach to pregnancy and birth.

Shanie with Lacienne & Coupe 

We also did some research and put together a reading list; One of my favourite books that both Tony and I listened to on Audiable was ‘The Positive Birth Book’ by Milli Hill. After reading this book I felt instantly empowered, educated in both pregnancy and child birth. I felt in control of my journey to becoming a parent and confident that I could have a positive birth regardless of how it played out. Tony also read this one with me and now feels confident that he will know what is happening during every phase of labour and he knows how best to support me when the time comes.

My final step was to follow some positive birth accounts on Instagram such as @ThePositiveBirthCompany @Birth_ed @BadAssMotherBirther , you would be surprised how powerful it is the randomly take in incredible birth photos, videos and positive stories every day whilst scrolling. Even on a subconscious level it helps eradicate fear and fill you with excitement at meeting your newborn baby when the time comes.

@Birth_ed

It is such a shame that so many women and men automatically pull for the negative pregnancy and birth stories, and i’ve actually found that the women with the positive experiences are the quietest in the group and the least likely to share and speak up. I’m sure a lot of it comes down to people not having dealt with the trauma of their own experience properly so therefore they project it onto others whenever they get the chance because it is their truth, even if it is a case of the “wrong audience”. Then the people who had a great experience end up feeling guilty or uncomfortable sharing a positive version of events as they don’t want to boast and brag so instead they keep quiet.

However, as a first time mum to be, it can be pretty toxic to be hearing awful stories, especially when you are feeling so vulnerable already. So I wanted to write about my experience so far by adding some pregnancy focused blog posts into the mix that are still super honest about the tough parts of pregnancy, but that have a little more  balance between the tough moments and the positive magical experience of growing a human being.  Over the next couple of weeks I will be sharing my personal experiences of the first, second and third trimester, exercise in pregnancy, the truth about expecting during a pandemic, as well as sharing lots of useful and practical information from writing my birth plan, packing my hospital bag and what was on my new baby shopping list!

Overall, my pregnancy has been awesome, i’ve loved feeling my baby grow, wriggle and kick over the past few months. I have loved this new developing bond between Tony and I as we get closer to becoming “Mum & Dad”, and i’ve even loved the experience of watching my body change (which honestly I thought I would hate! I’ve genuinely surprised myself there). Pregnancy does not need to be a list of crappy things you go through, or that happen to you. Yes some of it is bloody hard, and I know plenty of women have it really tough and don’t enjoy it at all and I honestly don’t envy them whatsoever. But some women have a beautiful experience, enjoy pregnancy and that should be allowed to be spoken about and celebrated openly too, so here I am saying its not been easy at all, but i’m pregnant and i’m loving it! (most of the time).

Check back soon for my first trimester post!

Shanie & Bump Xx

 

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